Decisions for the Journey

Hello

Time flies by so quickly. I realise that I have not updated the blog - sorry!! Di has been progressing slowly, though she now has great difficulty in knitting. She does not give up and tries and tries. Often she will get one row in and then make mistakes, or just plain forget what to do. It is extremely frustrating for her, and me!!!!

We have had many discussions on how to proceed with the medications and she begged not to go for another MRI and have the docs poke her with needles etc. I, and the children, explained to her that this was needed in order to try and get a few more months or to beat the cancer completely. When we were in Ann Arbor we spoke with the head of the department and he said that her chances were not that good as the tumour was such a progressive one. The thing that counts the most here is quality of life. The side affects of the aggressive treatment are not that pleasant. She has nose bleeds resulting in sheets having to be washed etc. She has shivering spells. This week the weather has been good and I have been in shorts and Ts, whilst she sat in a chair covered in a duvet and saying it is too cold. We have been told this is the result of the treatments.

Anyhow, my dear friends, I was going out of my mind. WHAT is the right decision? To fight on or stop? We called our Priest in and had a good discussion with him. As he left Fiona arrived and she and DI had a private talk, then Andrew appeared on skype and we had the 4 of us having a family discussion. Diana made the decision to stop the aggressive treatment and to enter hospice care. Both the children and I agreed to this. We know that God can heal whether on meds or not. So with that I called hospice in and they have taken control of her care. Di will remain at home and take comfort meds to make her life as comfortable as possible. The one big thing is that she has no pain.

With the fine weather I have taken her out and walked round the house and the fresh air has been good. We take one hour at a time. The docs have said that normally people live from 6 to 24 months with the tumour. we have had 6 months so enter a new path on our journey.

For me, I have no idea where the new road will take both of us. I have found the time extremely stressful and sometimes beat myself up about it all. Many tears have been shed. I will not use the 'd' word and talk about us all waiting in an airport departure hall waiting for our flight to be called. Or being on a ship sailing away and people on the other side waiting with great excitement to welcome their fellow traveller home. Life is about stories, so we talk about where and what we have done and what Di will be able to do on the 'wings of the eagle'. Life is a journey and nothing prepares us for some the roads we will take. Life is also a drama and I make up stories and situations to act out. Tears are allowed on this journey, but laughter is the best medicine.

I will keep you informed as we travel along this new path. Shalom. Ian

From Chris: Please continue to support Ian and Diana with your prayers. Don't be strangers. Diana very much enjoys chatting with folks. There is always much laughter in visiting with them which is as much an encouragement to me as it is to them. Spending time with Di will also give Ian a respite from time to time.